Conversations you never thought you’d have

We went to a sale yesterday where one item was very tempting, but I didn’t buy it—the old ‘need’ versus ‘want’ argument going on in my head.

A bit later, after coffee, we decided to return to said sale to determine whether the item was still there.

Girlfriend offered to hop out of the car and go in to see if the item was (still there), so I let her out.

The sale was both inside and outside—the people were moving and selling almost everything.  I drove up the alley and stopped again to talk with the young woman standing by the sale items.

Rolling down the window, I inquired, “Are you the daughter of the sellers?” 

“Yes!” she answered.

“I wonder—have you sold your pig?” I asked.

“Our……..our…… PIG?” she asked, chuckling………

“I didn’t know we HAD a pig!” she said, with a surprised look on her face.

“Yes, your Pig!  It was in the kitchen,” I noted.

“In the kitchen?  A pig?” she quizzically asked me again.

“Yes.  A rather large pig, about this big,” as I gestured with my hands.  “It was on the table,” I informed her.

Just then, Girlfriend quickly came  back to the van indicating that, sadly, the pig was gone.

“Oh, never mind.  My friend tells me it’s been sold,”  I informed the girl.

We drove off and in the rearview mirror I saw the girl looking at us, still unsure that they had ever HAD a pig at all—at least she didn’t recall it.

Pig was $25.

Not buying it when I could have, my mistake, but….

Seeing that girl’s  face was priceless.

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Photos from here:

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=photos+of+kitchen+pig&id=04F18BC0732C626D52F33792F9FC09B476DD3C20&FORM=IQFRBA

 

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The Perfect Man and Other Treasures Found Today

‘Tis rainy, ‘tis stormy—never mind—off we went early to sales!  And there were not many, but the ones we found were very good.

Security

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prefers to use the couch as a napkin.  Because I know what it costs to clean a couch (professionally), I have tried to keep the couch covered:  first, slipcover, which didn’t hold its place very well; next throws—one on each cushion of the couch, but they didn’t match, and today I found this:

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It is a brand new handmade rug for which the woman confided she paid $250.  $20!  And it looks alright on the couch!

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Muted enough to blend with the other colors in the room, one doesn’t actually see that it is pastels.  (Nice view of TMWLH’s legs too!  Football is on.  All the time now.)   I used the throws on the other two upholstered chairs in the room.  To, you know, provide security FROM Security!

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Actually, the colors aren’t bad in the room—I can live with it.

Next, these items were found:

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New, unopened, two to the package $3—will fit my long table.

A new hat for Charlotte, the mannequin*:

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A cute Halloween decoration for $1

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A large tray, $1

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image  I don’t need to explain these except to say they are from Pottery Barn and other name brands—a whole bin full including the bin for $20.

A nice cork mat $1 to place under my coffee pot which sometimes leaves a bit of a stain on the countertop—this will prevent it!

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And………….(aside here): 

my Rosemary Bush which I’ve had for several years

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somehow was overwatered wilst yours truly was spending so much time in bed watching soaps, eating bonbons and generally being a lay about  no, no, that’s not right—whilst I was ill and TMWLH watered.  And watered.  And watered.  The Rosemary Bush.

Moi was devastated!  What oh what will I do without my Rosemary Bush from which I pluck at least two or three sprigs a year?  Oh dear……….when what should happen but that this very nice lady (and spouse and teenage daughter) offered to give me HER Rosemary plant!  Oh yes!  And so, now I have this—pot included!  For Free!

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At the next sale, I found—wait for it……….

wait for it………….

wait for it………….

Oh yes I did!  I found The PERFECT MAN!  (aside from TMWLH which I had to write here or suffer the consequences, of course):

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He says things like, “Oh, Honey, you take the remote so you can find what YOU want to watch,” and “Honey, this ball game isn’t very interesting.  Let’s just spend time together and I’ll turn it off.” 

Added benefit:  you can carry him around with you in your purse or pocket.

And he was ONLY $2.

Which DOES prove, finally, that you really CAN find anything at a yard sale, doesn’t it?

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*Charlotte the mannequin in her role as Suffragette last year in Christmas Tree form:

 

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Word Problems

A little background here:  I have (somewhat stupidly) offered to assist 11 year old, 5th grader Grandson with his homework. 

(No, this isn’t Grandson.  It’s from a stock photo online.  It’s here:  http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Pictures+of+kids+doing+homework&qpvt=Pictures+of+kids+doing+homework&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=20A8F8F0CB3FCDE22C672DBBB14590BB04238535&selectedIndex=35

There, go click on that! ha!)

To that end, he brought it to our house yesterday and we began—of course, after a snack and some small talk and deciding whether or not it was okay to keep one’s socks on whilst one’s shoes were off—in MY house not exactly known for its clean floors what with Security and TMWLH* tracking in leaves (see another post on that one) and whatnot…….but I digress.

(*TMWLH = the Man Who Lives Here)

http://vivienlos80s.com/wp-includes-vieja/images/smilies/kids-doing-homework-cartoon-489.gif

Wait a minute, what was the question? 

Oh.  I haven’t gotten to the question yet…….

So there we were, diligently (although with difficulty) going through math word problems.

We managed to struggle through the majority of them when this problem came up in his homework:  (I will paraphrase since I don’t have the actual problem directly in front of me.)

http://blogs.momaha.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/2/files/2012/09/grandparents2.jpg

Susie wants to start a swim club. (What?  It’s fall—why would she want to start a swim club in the fall?  Must belong to one of those private clubs with pools inside or else the YMCA which has a swim club, I think, already, but never mind…….)

So, Susie is starting this swim club and she decides she will add 2 new members.  Each new member will ask 2 people each to become members.  If every new member invites 2 people to become members, how many members will there be on the swim club at the end of month 4?

(How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  Ahhhhh—)

Alright—some things need clarifying here.  First off, how do we know the kids will actually get two members each to join?  I mean, come on folks, this must involve big bucks for the parents and not every parent has the money OR the time to devote to a swim club just ‘cause lil’ ol’ Susie wants to have one.  What a spoiled child!  Why can’t she just join a swim club that already exists?  If she’s that good a swimmer—but how do we know THIS?—if she is, then for heaven’s sake, she might be one of the best on an existing team and really help them out!  Why, Susie could become a Olympic swimmer for all we know.  Why start up one of your own when you could join one already in existence and maybe make something of yourself.  But, OHHHHH NOOOO!  Susie is determined to have her very own swim club.

Or is it more diabolical?  Maybe Susie just wants to show off to her friends and their friends and their friends’ friends and their friends’ friends’ friends?  Maybe she really IS that good.  BUT…. Just a show off.  I’ve known some Susie’s in my life, believe me, and……..well, that’s another story…………

On the other hand, maybe Susie doesn’t even know how to swim.  In that case, who is going to teach her?  How is she going to compete, anyway—who is in charge here?  Now this involves parents getting/hiring someone to be the coach not to mention early-morning, late-afternoon after-school practices (and on Saturdays!) and getting the kids to and from practice on time and paying for all the training and getting the kids (on a bus, I suppose, which they’ll have to rent) to and from the meets—and who would be their competitors?  I mean, this is getting expensive, people!

Okay, well, we don’t know the answer to the question yet, now, do we?  Nope.  We don’t’ know IF anybody even LIKES Susie and would JOIN her swim club, now do we?

But I digress……..

So on to the problem.  I read it; Grandson read it; TMWLH read it.  We decided that it was solved like this:

Month 1:  We have the brat Susie plus she asks 2 new members and they agree to join.  (We are assuming here she has 2 friends, anyway.)

So at the end of Month 1, there are 3 members—Susie and her two groupies.

Now, then, if each of the 3 members asks two people and they don’t go to their folks who veto the idea, then they join.  So, then you have

Susie plus her two friends plus their six friends equals nine people on this team.  (We’re already getting into the difficulty of deciding where they’re going to swim not to mention times to practice and carpooling and they’ve had to hire a coach and lifeguard……..  But never mind, on with the problem………)

So we have 9 people at the end of the second month. 

The third month, everybody (after all, it’s a new swim team and they all really ARE new members—which begs another question, how long are the members ‘new members’?  Is Susie a new member?  How many friends does she have anyway?) asks two more friends.  So we have 9 X 2 = 18 new people plus the original 9 from the end of month 2, so we have a total of 27 girls who have joined the team.

You see where this is leading, don’t you?  Yep—too MANY girls already!  I mean, somebody has to be a lifeguard every time they are in those pools, and now we have 27 of them, none of whom actually know HOW to swim and so you likely have to hire two lifeguards at least to keep them safe AND a coach.  The parents are beginning to see this is pretty expensive.

At the end of the third month, you’ve got these 27 spoiled brats who each ask two more girls to join which is 27 X 2 = 54 plus the 27 you already had which makes 54 + 27 = 81

So by the beginning of the 4th month, you’ve got 81 girls all wanting to swim, in some gigantic pool which the parents now have to rent just for them—I mean, they might as well BUY a pool for heaven’s sake, with the cost factor in here.

You can carry it on out to month 4, but I don’t want to think about it………

Also, is the coach or are the coaches ‘members’ and if so do THEY have to ask for new members every month?  Are they included in the total number of members?  And what if a coach gets fed up with all these girls in a pool who can’t swim?  And what if the coach quits, THEN what does lil’ ol’ Susie do?  Not to mention the parents who are now fixing cookies and lemonade every day and carting that to the pools so the girls can have snacks—I mean, it’s becoming the focus of their lives.  This is out of hand……

(I go to bed and think on it.  The whole idea becomes ridiculous—surely this can’t be how the question should be answered?  But then again, it is NOT HOW A QUESTION SHOULD BE ASKED!  Too many unanswered questions about the problem to begin with!  It’s way too ambiguous—)

So, as I am wont to do, I got up about 1:30 and rethought the entire problem.  Like this:

We’ve got the previously established Susie, the Brat, who wants this swim team.

http://www.playingmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/tantrum2.jpg

Her parents don’t like it, but think what the heck?  I mean, she’ll never get THAT many kids on a team which she thought up herself, so they say alright……..Besides, lil’ Susie ain’t exactly the most popular kid in school and actually needs some friends, not to mention some type of activity to keep her out of their hair!

So, she gets two more girls on her team the first month, telling them they have to get two members each the next month.  They agree for some reason.

End of month one, 3 members.

Each of the two new girls get two more girls each:

2 X 2 = 4 plus they have the original 3 which makes 7 members at the end of the second month.

The third month, each of the 4 new members from the second month get 2 girls to join (I don’t know what these girls were doing before this silly swim team came along, but I guess they didn’t have busy extracurricular activities going on, so they joined.)  Anyway, now you have 4 X 2 = 8 plus the original number from the second month which was 7 so that makes 15 members on this team at the end of the third month.

Now, then it’s the fourth month and each of the 8 members who joined in month 3 have the fun of finding 2 more girls each to join, and somehow they do (this is a very dull place, wherever they live), so you’ve got 8 X 2 = 16 plus the total from the end of the third month which is 15, so 15 + 16 = 31 members.

Now, really, girls that is ENOUGH!  I mean you’ve already committed half your parents’ incomes to this swimming business, hired a coach, hired a lifeguard, and you’ve got the audacity to schedule practice before school AND after school and on Saturdays, expecting treats all the time—who do you think is responsible for getting you to and from those practices and bringing all the cookies and lemonade?

Who?

Oh.

Grandma and Grandpa.

I see………….

 

The Quarter Monty

For moi!  A surprise!  Oh yes indeedy, they—the Brocanters–did—and what a surprise, but first things first.

(“You are daft!” Jabber said, perplexed.  “What are you writing about now?  You make no sense!”

I never said I did, did I now, Jabber?  No.  So—if you want to know what I’m writing about, you’ll have to wade through all this stuff first.  It’s sort of an extension of going to yard sales wherein one wades through a lot of extraneous things to find the real treasure one is seeking.  Or something along those lines.  Oh never mind.)

We ventured out again this morning to a few sales—Thumper, Girlfriend, Cupcake and moi, Jabber, off for more adventures.  We found them and some incredible treasures as well…..let me show you a few of my treasures:

Three very nice storage baskets with lids, $3 each—these were found yesterday.

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Below:  For Christmas trees—later, gator, as far as an explanation.  Suffice it to say, I’ve got plans.

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Suede cape—it’s perfect! and I paid $1 for it.  But wait, there is more……….

image  Scarf and gloves for $1 each!

So for $3 I have a very fun, warm and stylish ensemble!  I am thrilled.

Also………a very ‘cool’ necklace with elephants.  $1

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Another storage basket for $1:

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And 3 Vogue patterns I’ve been searching to find all summer—these will be used on a craft project.  $.50 each.

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You are looking at the real McCoy.  Bowl, that is, marked #8.  I paid $5 and did some quick research online to find that it is worth something around $10 to $11.  Now, if I wished to sell it, this would be a double-your-money deal.  But I don’t  I have plans for it as a gift.

(And some other wonderful things which I won’t show because, well, they will be given to people and I don’t want to spoil it!)

“What’s the surprise?  What’s the surprise?  You promised to tell us what the surprise was……..what was it?”  Jabber asked as she jumped up and down…….

Well, Jabber, the Brocanters found this whilst yours truly was taking her ‘summer break’—and decided that it definitely needed to come here.  A little background—you are all familiar with the movie, “The Full Monty” aren’t you?  If not, please look it up!  Here, my dear weeders, is  (scroll down)

Go ahead,

scroll down more……….

Okay, without further scrolling down—here ‘tis

“The QUARTER MONTY”!

Front:

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and Back:

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I can only just imagine how envious you must be knowing that I have, in my very own possession, a Quarter Monty!  Not to mention how overwhelmed I was when I received it.  Nor to mention how incredibly thoughtful the Brocanters were giving it to me.  (There are lots of things not to mention.)

Yes, well……..and it came with verbal instructions to ‘do something with it for Christmas.”  Um hmmmmm. 

Just you wait, just you wait!  I WILL!

A Happy Tale

Hello all ye in cyberspace who have wondered if I’d quit or gone missing or died.  None of the above. 

I just spent a little ‘quality’ time with some sort of virus/infection/undiagnosed something or another which kept me company for a good 4 weeks.  Not good company, mind you, just company—the type which has worn out its welcome and doesn’t get the hint it is well-nigh past time to leave!  I think I finally convinced it, but it took some doing.

(What do you mean you hardly noticed I hadn’t been posting for a while?  You just carried on with your lives, I suppose, happy go lucky without a care in the world and no need to check this silly blog to see if I’d actually posted something USEFUL or INTERESTING?  Well………..that’s as it should be.  I seldom do.  Post anything useful.  Or interesting.  But maybe this post will be the exception.  Then again, maybe not.)

But I digress—here is the REAL story:  it’s about a leaf blower.  That’s correct, ‘leaf blower.’ 

(Now is when I get all philosophical.  So you’ll just have to wade through.  “Yes.  She’s back.  Indeed.”  I can hear your minds thinking those things, you know.  Well, no I can’t.  It’s what I’d think, however, if I were you.  Which I’m not.)

In life there are some things which make one happy and some things which don’t—there seems to be no rhyme nor reason to some of them and so it is with a leaf blower.  It makes us happy.  (There.  Done with the philosophy.  That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?)

We had one, purchased at a (ahem) yard sale some time ago for the princely sum of $5.  Sadly, after a couple years of service, a plastic inner part, crucial to its operation, broke.  One loud ‘POP’ and it died.  A quick and painless death, I might add, but none the less, we were left without a leaf blower.

TMWLH*, like many men, loved the leaf blower.  He was often motivated to blow leaves off the deck, even when there were few—it made him happy, in other words, to use the leaf blower.   Powerful.  Useful.  HAPPY.  Which in turn made me happy—clean deck!

So, of course, I had to find a replacement.   The sadness in our loss was soon going to be overwhelming—fall approaches.  And you know what that means.  Yes.  Leaves, leaves, and more leaves.

Just this past week we had some storms which blew leaves everywhere.  They were strewn about the deck, threatening to get all crunchy and be brought into the house by one of us and/or Security who often drags things in—balls, toys, that sort of thing, but also known to drag in dried leaves on her paws and ears and elsewhere.  So the house was threatened as well! 

Today, first day out at sales for a while, Girlfriend located one and bought it for me!   She refused to even tell me how much she paid for it and gave it to us as a gift—how generous is that?  And it came with a 100 foot cord—a very long cord indeed.

When TMWLH saw it, guess what he did?  As in almost immediately?  Yep—here are the pictures to prove it!

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The deck is clear, the house is saved (as is Security—saved from paw washes and brushing/picking at her fur which she dislikes), and TMWLH is a very happy man again.

And this is a happy tale!

*TMWLH = The Man Who Lives Here